The best of thejohnblog (John )

Not finding your favourites quickly enough? If you follow @twitfave on twitter, we'll prioritise you. This means we'll see your favourites much faster!

Page 1 next
  1. John
    The first rule of Mime Club... Well, you know the rest.
    [9 hours, 22 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  2. John
    Tyler Perry's "Why do people keep spending money to see these flicks?"
    [15 hours, 40 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  3. John
    The bachelor party last night wasn't too wild, but this chimpanzee I woke up handcuffed to is getting restless and bitey.
    [18 hours, 3 minutes ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]
     
  4. John
    All *I'm* saying is that a *real* tiger would never bother to ask ANYONE where they would like to be bitten.
    [19 hours, 17 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  5. John
    I'm losing my voice. I sound like Clint Eastwood doing ventriloquism with a Demi Moore puppet.
    [20 hours, 16 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  6. John
    Headed to @Threepme's bachelor party. Wallet? Check. Bag of lime and shovel? Check. Airtight alibi? Well, That's where YOU come in...
    [1 day, 11 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  7. John
    FACT: Although it's "Deuce," EVERYONE sings and puts emphasis on DOUCHE when singing along to "Blinded By The Light."

    Even the Pope.
    [1 day, 15 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  8. John
    Tila Tequila is so skeezy, I bet when she gets annoyed by a couple making out in public, she says: "GET A RESTROOM!"
    [1 day, 16 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]
     
  9. John
    The girl Jesse James had an affair with has a bachelors degree in biology. Well now it's obvious why he was attracted to her.
    [1 day, 18 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  10. John
    Great. What am I supposed to do with all this leftover leprechaun meat?
    [2 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  11. John
    NEVER, EVER buy an abridged version of a cookbook. *big sigh as he dials Dominos*
    [2 days, 9 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  12. John
    If you hit Bono on the head, does he see pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars, green clovers, blue diamonds AND purple horseshoes?
    [2 days, 14 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  13. John
    Looking for a pot of gold today? My friend Angelo can help you with half of that request.
    [2 days, 20 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  14. John
    Every year, on St. Patrick's Day, Verne Troyer hides in a cabinet because someone is trying to put a toddler sized Leprechaun outfit on him.
    [2 days, 23 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  15. John
    Cat pissed on the couch but no matter how hard I'm using this steam cleaner, I can't get the cat blood and guts out of the upholstery.
    [3 days, 9 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]
     
  16. John
    Am I the only guy who gets penis envy when they show a side profile of Squidward?
    [3 days, 11 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  17. John
    Show me on Tom Hanks where Michael Clarke Duncan touched you.
    [3 days, 12 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  18. John
    Try as you might, playa, but ain't no one turned more tricks than Harry Potter.
    [3 days, 18 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  19. John
    I posted this for @califmom and hope all of you take a moment to read about an amazing FIGHT: "The Road." http://bit.ly/aKFf50
    [3 days, 20 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  20. John
    So they're gonna release TITANIC in 3D? Does this mean they'll see the iceberg now and dodge it? OMG, Will they make Greedo shoot first?!
    [4 days, 14 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
Page 1 next