The best of superfantastic

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1. 

   #1 question I am asked: "Miss, how do you spell..." Meaning the bulk of my job could be adequately done by a sentient Speak & Spell.
   [6 hours, 40 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   Pastry chef roommate brought home a big container full of cake scraps. I'm going to name my new chins Morty and Lola.
   [2 days, 23 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   "I LITERALLY fought my administration tooth and nail." Scratched and bit the principal? And kept your job? Must be one hell of a union rep.
   [3 days, 2 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   Cleaned out the fridge tonight. Wait, when people say "cleaned out the fridge" they mean "finished all of the wine in there", right?
   [3 days, 22 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   Reading Little Women with a student, realized I'm desperately hoping Beth will make it this time. And that I don't understand how books work
   [1 week, 1 day ago, faved by 18] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   Giving a test today to special ed students who will almost certainly fail, further discouraging them from even trying. No Child Left Behind!
   [1 week, 1 day ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   One of my students spelled "kind" k!ne. I blame Ke$ha. Also the boy's multiple profound learning disabilities, but mostly Ke$ha.
   [1 week, 3 days ago, faved by 10] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   Just took such a long hot shower that I may have actually begun to cook a little. Superfantastic: The Extremely White Meat®
   [1 week, 5 days ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   Hadn't run in a week due to a bad cold. After a mile, I coughed so hard I nearly threw up on somebody's lawn. Laddies.
   [1 week, 5 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    When your boss texts to admonish you for still being at work instead of at happy hour, you've won.
    [1 week, 6 days ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    She was the kind of girl who'd wear a Big Boy t-shirt to ballet class. (I bought it at a rest stop in New Jersey!)
    [2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    Though it's been labeled torture by some, the Geneva Conventions contain no prohibition against lunch detention in Ms. Graham's room.
    [2 weeks, 1 day ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    Student: You should stay home. You'll give us germs. Me: I sneeze into my elbow. As long as you don't lick my elbow, you're fine. S: *blink*
    [2 weeks, 2 days ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    It snowed in South Texas today, proving global warming false because Al Gore said global warming meant it would never snow again, right?
    [2 weeks, 2 days ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    It's that time of year, when I engage once again in a short-lived but intensely passionate love affair. With Nyquil.
    [2 weeks, 3 days ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    NINETY-TWO MILES PER HOUR. In a SLED. These people are hard core. And/or batshit insane.
    [2 weeks, 4 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    I've named the big hill on my running route the BAMF hill. (Mom: the MF stands for uh...mustard-flavored.)
    [2 weeks, 5 days ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    NO! THE ENDS BROKE OFF THE TWIST TIE AND NOW MY M&M'S ARE TRAPPED WHAT DO I oh. Right. Scissors.
    [2 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    I think Mucinex works by black magic. That's why I don't question the tiny bottle coming in a big box. For fear of angering the mucous gods.
    [2 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    When they say, "don't shove sharp objects down in your ears" they mean unless they really, really itch, right?
    [2 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

     
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