The best of revg (reverend greg a rice)

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1. 

   When another man leans over and tugs on your newish beard, that man is either a very unique dear friend, or a goddamn dead man. #jimray
   [4 months, 3 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   Looking at your detailed informational graphic, I'm realizing I'm not smart enough to understand your detailed informational graphic.
   [5 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   I managed to leave work with Yacht Rock hair. Nicely done, hat. Very nicely done.
   [7 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   Looking for a good way to relax after work, I've found no real substitute for fine bourbon and a cleanser that gets blood out of coveralls.
   [8 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   For the first time ever, I am now that guy at Costco buying nothing more than steak and a giant television.
   [8 months, 1 week ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   Recipe: body ache tea. Take reasonably hot water and drop in your aching body. Just kind of bob around for a while until you pass out.
   [8 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   Driving home a five hour fun filled romp of rain and fog. Almost exactly the sensation of driving a submarine, only with less Sean Connery.
   [8 months, 3 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   Wowsa. @phillygirl and @jimray, your gifted sweets and meats are truly tasty. As are those edible BBs for the snowman's eyes. Mmm. BBs.
   [8 months, 3 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   The little plastic deals state troopers put over their hats when it's raining are cute. The fact they're packing a sidearm makes it better.
   [9 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    Apprehensive about getting old for the first time. The concept of being baffled by the intricacies of a fuel pump sucks.
    [10 months ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    RT my own deleted toot: Marketing a new cologne called "Belltown." Smells of tequila, hair gel and failure. Includes collar-popping guide.
    [10 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    I need to know how they came up with the flavor for Red Bull. Because it tastes like something that fell to earth.
    [11 months, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    If I have a heart attack on the treadmill while getting my pulse read, does it at least send out an email or something? Facebook post?
    [11 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    New restaurant idea: Papa's Topless Tapas. It's a burger place. The servers don't wear pants.
    [11 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    I just waited twenty-eight minutes for a breakfast burrito. Granted, it's delicious, but probably not what they'll say at my arraignment.
    [12 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    All tastelessness aside, @jimray knows how to throw a man party.
    [1 year ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    RT @samhey @seoulbrother Like you've never masturbated on a corpse before.
    [1 year ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    Managed to sprain my pinky during sleep last night. Must've been dreaming about extreme tea-drinking with the Queen again. Quite, quite.
    [1 year ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    I'm not entirely comfortable getting this far along in life, then realizing I know far too much Michael Bay trivia.
    [1 year, 2 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    I keep packaging for days and years after purchase. WHY MUST THIS BE? WHY AM I BROKEN IN THIS WAY?
    [1 year, 2 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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