The best of luckyshirt

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1. 

   Some of the most self-absorbed people I know are me.
   [3 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   I wonder how many ways cats have to skin us.
   [3 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   My life is a constant struggle between completing tasks and imagining an owl mask made of scotch tape and two CDs.
   [1 month ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   My shirt design is open for scoring on Threadless! Please help me out and vote for it. Thank you so much. </leveraging> http://bit.ly/aqSMu7
   [1 month ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   If you honestly believe that I'm not good at expressing myself, then I don't know what to tell you.
   [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   "Gluteus maximus" my ass.
   [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 10] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   Shopping for overalls at Forever 6.
   [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   Note to self: Get a real penpal.
   [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   Rice cakes are the loneliest cakes at cake prom.
   [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    "Sex on the beach" sounds really inconvenient.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    Whenever someone tries to tell me about a dream, I pretend to pull a quarter out of their ear except it's my underwear and I'm in an Ikea.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    @abigvictory You crossed the Chucks, didn't you? You brought this on yourself. We should fly together; I want some Dharma peanut butter.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    There's nothing you can do that can't be dumb.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 10] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    Behind every great man is a great ninja.
    
    And behind that ninja is another ninja.
    
    And behind that ninja is know what you should maybe sit.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 10] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    I love to roleplay in bed, but the dice always get lost in the blankets.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 13] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    Somewhere in a bunker, the government is busy stockpiling jokes for when Robert Smith is diagnosed with a terminal illness.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    Lazy Tweet: Does anyone know the current exchange rate between Ke$ha and K€sha?
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 13] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    I just want to be popular enough for Calvin to pee on me.
    [1 month, 3 weeks ago, faved by 15] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    Every time I get pulled over, I pretend I'm from the future where there are no roads.
    
    Then the cop and I laugh and I blow into the machine.
    [1 month, 3 weeks ago, faved by 23] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    I look like Brad Pitt and Jude Law had a baby 34 years ago.
    
    Which is to say I look like a horrible biological impossibility today.
    [1 month, 4 weeks ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

     
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