The best of lonelysandwich (Adam Lisagor)

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1. 

   Sometimes I'm still in my pajamas.
   [3 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   If I listened to more commercial radio, I'd be flat broke, because these commercials are working on me. Like, all of them. I'm a moron!
   [3 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   There's no justice 'til I can gay marry in a mosque at Ground Zero with a medical marijuana in my mouth.
   [4 weeks, 1 day ago, faved by 15] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   'Dinner for Schmucks' was really great. But I liked it better when it WAS CALLED INCEPTION. J/K no I didn't.
   [1 month ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   Your stripper name: take your favorite Godfrey Reggio documentary and the street you grew up on. Mine's Koyaanisqatsi Powaqqatsi!
   [1 month ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   I wear either a large or an extra large, depending on how much I've cried that day.
   [1 month ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   Oh man @fbonomo came through on his connections and now I proudly don these dreamy unlicensed postal shorts. http://yfrog.com/07vrawj
   [1 month ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   For some reason, I'd blanked on whether 'putting' has one 't' or two. The pronunciation didn't help matters. http://yfrog.com/ne6crp
   [1 month ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   I'm gonna call you 'Clearly Canadian'. On account of you're clearly Canadian.
   [1 month ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    Wait, so nonplussed means plussed? Math is stupid.
    [1 month ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    @Just_Alison I KNOW! And you know what else I hate? Good things, that are good and taste delicious.
    [1 month ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    I focus grouped it, and you know who really loves @danbenjamin's interview with me? Beardy guys. Thanks, beardos! http://5by5.tv/pipeline/22
    [1 month ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    Please join me and @danbenjamin as we chew the fat on The Pipeline. http://5by5.tv/pipeline/22
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    With my metabolism, I can eat anything I want and never gain an ounce of self-respect. I tell ya, I tell ya.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 12] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    Lamborghini Cumstache.
    
    I just won fifth grade.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 14] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    'Dirty Dancing' remake with Michael Cera in the role of "Baby". I'll take my millions now please, movie jerks.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 13] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    "Mad Men" didn't really hit its stride until Season 11. http://lonelysandwich.com/post/851886252/mad-men-season-11
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    I wonder if you can die of autodidactic asphyxiation. I guess I'll look it up. And now I'm dead. End of joke.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 23] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    I wonder if my girlfriend gets as turned on when she folds my laundry as I do when I fold hers. Probably even more so since mine are bigger.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 45] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    @godofbiscuits Just about the sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me, Jeff, God of Biscuits. I've gone stoney beardo to gay icon in a day.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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