The best of kolchak (The Night Stalker)

Not finding your favourites quickly enough? If you follow @twitfave on twitter, we'll prioritise you. This means we'll see your favourites much faster!

• oldest
• newest
• best
• subscribe (RSS)

1. 

   Somewhere, TLC is softly beckoning you to the television with its sweet siren song of midgets and cake.
   [3 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
2. 

   I was going to throw a prop 8 abolition party, but then I ran out of cocktail umbrellas.
   [4 weeks, 1 day ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
3. 

   What's that, Flickr? I need a yahoo account? Hold on. I'll go back in time and requistion the username and password from 1997 me.
   [4 weeks, 1 day ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
4. 

   Apparently there's a party game called "quelf." I'm suing them for stealing my trademark sex move.
   [1 month ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
5. 

   YOU CAN'T BUILD A MOSQUE NEAR GROUND ZERO. THAT'S LIKE PLANTING A TREE NEAR SONNY BONO'S GRAVE.
   [1 month ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
6. 

   YOU CAN'T BUILD A MOSQUE NEAR GROUND ZERO. THAT'S LIKE BUILDING A TACO BELL BY THE ALAMO.
   [1 month ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
   • 
   • 
7. 

   I just ate $40 worth of sushi. Time to cuddle up with Teddy Ruxpin and pirated episodes of NYC Prep.
   [1 month ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
8. 

   $20 is a small price to pay considering how much poon I'll be getting once the ladies see I have a device that cracks eggs for me.
   [1 month ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
9. 

   A Hispanic person walks into a Tucson bar, and the bartender says: "why the brown face?"
   [1 month ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
10. 

    I feel all the old ladies in the coffee shop are just using me for my working set of teeth.
    [1 month ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
    • 
11. 

    My penis is homeless. Please provide shelter.
    [1 month ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
    • 
12. 

    Walgreens' brand sunscreen is made from baby earlobes. #unfoundedrumors
    [1 month ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
    • 
13. 

    "Fuck silver pieces. I want 30 oat bags." - Horse Judas Iscariot
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
    • 
14. 

    "Well, paint my dick orange and call it a carrot" is now an expression. Go forth.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
15. 

    Whose mother do I need to donkey punch around here to get a fresh cup of coffee?
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
16. 

    If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, can we build a tree house? OH PLEASE? PLEASE CAN WE???
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
17. 

    DRINK A PEPSI. TRUST POLITICIANS. WATCH TMZ.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
    • 
18. 

    Don't count your chickens before they hatch. In case they turn out to be tiny Mickey Rourkes.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
19. 

    Tyler Perry's entire career can be explained by him performing inception on television executives.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
    • 
20. 

    The family that prays together slays together.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    •