The best of grumpassgrumpaw (Mean Ass Pappy)

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1. 

   I always quote Marky Mark after sex.
   [1 day, 9 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   I'd twitpic my wife but all you'd see is a classic beauty who isn't going to fuck you either.
   [3 days, 13 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   I am the ultimate husband. Sports. Gay. TV. Gay. Cheating. Gay. Deadbeat dad. Gay. However lately I've been wondering if I might be gay.
   [3 days, 13 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   I am not being able to get laid in a whorehouse personified. Even my hand refuses to put down this cigarette.
   [4 days, 12 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   @SilkPillow it seems like only yesterday we were trying to figure out this Twitter thing.
   [5 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   This game of hide and seek is pissing me off. It would be better to work three beers at once. Maybe more.
   [5 days, 9 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   If my name was Dick, I'd want my last name to be Buttler.
   [5 days, 9 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   It's funny to think how huge old cell phones used to be. Check out my previous phone. http://yfrog.com/jkphmj
   [5 days, 9 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   The worst marketing blunder in history was not putting cassette decks in cell phones.
   [5 days, 10 hours ago, faved by 37] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    Sorry about the retard jokes. They were like hunting deer with corn.
    [5 days, 11 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    Not knowing how to spell is how typos happen.
    [5 days, 11 hours ago, faved by 24] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    Genitalia is the foulest thing I'll put in my mouth.
    [5 days, 12 hours ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    I'm a late @bitterpuss bloomer and now my Twitter crush is growing like East Texas psilocybin.
    [5 days, 12 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    I wonder what Kenny G would sound like as a guitarist and if he would still eat shit for breakfast.
    [5 days, 12 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    My best fart is jealous of your wife's pussy.
    [5 days, 12 hours ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    If retards were institutionalized, the prostitution industry would collapse.
    [5 days, 12 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    Karma has the last laugh. I just walked into a window.
    [5 days, 12 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    Jacking off in public and not going to jail is one good thing about being retarded.
    [5 days, 13 hours ago, faved by 25] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    Retards are typically happy yet they can't drive to the beer store or sell dope without getting caught.
    [5 days, 13 hours ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    @PhaCue It's hard to live in Dallas and not like plastic.
    [5 days, 13 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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