The best of grumpassgrumpaw (Mean Ass Pappy)

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1. 

   @rongillmore Nor are all horses' asses.
   [1 month, 4 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   Fireworks are like tits. They all look the same after 15 minutes and you can smell the money burning.
   [1 month, 4 weeks ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   Ok. Line moving now. All I had to do was stare at tits. Awesome.
   [1 month, 4 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   Tweet responsibly.
   [2 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   Guilty of sext abuse.
   [2 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   And who the fuck leaves a diaper on the sidewalk. I hope God shits in your mouth.
   [2 months ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   Sometimes I stand in front of a full length mirror and relish at the sight of my naked body. Right now is one of those moments. Everyone?
   [2 months, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   What is it about my balls that makes these sand oysters think I'm a waterpark?
   [2 months, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   This is my chat account.
   [2 months, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    It's easy to hate the people in charge but you should know they don't give a fuck and that's all that matters.
    [2 months, 1 week ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    The motel a/c was so cold last night, the semen blanket was my friend.
    [2 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    I love telling Mexicans IT'S NOT THE THIRD WORLD CUP!
    [2 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    I have never had a flush that was courteous.
    [2 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    Green lights that don't let all the cars through remind me of the blow jobs I never get when my wife yawns.
    [2 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    The LA riots prove once again that vuvuzelas prevent violence.
    [2 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    We ain't small people. We're coonasses.
    [2 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    No, I do not want a fucking car wash. No, I do not want a fucking receipt. I wan't some fucking gas.
    [2 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    My dick is such a racist. It hates other dicks just because they're dicks.
    [2 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    I average 39 tweets per day. Help me.
    [2 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    @unanything It's like a rainbow in the dark.
    [2 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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