The best of dickchiclets (Richard Chiclets, Jr)

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1. 

   I just realized another purpose of DADT is to keep the homophobes in the closet too.
   [5 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   Geez, Sandra Bullock's tattooed, biker husband surprised everyone by behaving like a professional golfer.
   [5 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   I heard that there is a new Jonas brother in the works. Request: make this one less Mark Knopler-esque.
   [5 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   I have a shy bladder. But don't worry: my bowels are very outgoing.
   [5 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   Is anyone else out there being chased round and round a tree by horny Benny Hill theme music? Just me? Oops, there go my pants again!
   [5 months, 3 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   Toasted coconut doughnut, I take thee as my unlawful, totally fattening second wife, to hold and to eat , from this day forward.
   [6 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   Calling something modern is so outdated.
   [6 months, 1 week ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   You'd be sweatin' too if the oldies had a loaded gun to YOUR head, demanding you listen, dammit, listen to this horrible fucking song AGAIN!
   [6 months, 1 week ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   It's fine to let toddlers build our houses, but my God don't let them name any more streets. There are already way too many Poop Avenues.
   [6 months, 1 week ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    I just formed another opinion.
    [6 months, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    Advances in genetic testing reveal that Marie is exactly 13% country. Donnie though contains no trace of rock-n-roll, but is 5% schnauzer.
    [6 months, 1 week ago, faved by 12] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    Photo: I made an entry. http://tumblr.com/xu06udkk0
    [6 months, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    It's already February and I still haven't gotten my snow legs.
    [6 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    Every time I am online and click on the submit button, I have to bite down hard on my ball gag.
    [6 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    I loved that fettucini alfredo so much I'm going to have its baby. Fettucini Alfredo, Jr.
    [6 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    I just spilled the beans about the Frijoles Incident.
    [6 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    I could make a good argument that half a pie *is* , in fact, a *piece* of pie, but my mouth is too full of pie.
    [6 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 10] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    My burrito had a squirm factor of 9.
    [6 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    Dick Cheney's heart has yet another chance to do the right thing.
    [6 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    Since I savaged that entire box of Cheez-Its, this city isn't the only thing with a gritty underbelly.
    [6 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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