The best of cravenheart (Peter)

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1. 

   Thank you all for the password suggestions. I want to particularly thank the hot girl who suggested "Sod off." Not once, but 26 times.
   [1 day, 8 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   And don't even get me started on statements with no context.
   [2 days, 1 hour ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   Some of the poorest countries in Africa cannot get access to porn.
   What do they do with themselves when they're not struggling to survive?
   [2 days, 3 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   Forgetful? Can't remember where you put things? There was an app for that, somewhere....
   [2 days, 10 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   I have to be more careful. Just cut myself on a really sharp bitch.
   [3 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   In the back seat with Miss Daisy. Alcohol ruins lives, people.
   [3 days, 1 hour ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   17th of March here tomorrow. St Bono's Day. The day Bono drove all the music out of Ireland.
   [5 days, 2 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   Hate. It's a powerful word. We use it to rate that which threatens our values, our beliefs, our way of life.
   Anyway, totally hate broccoli.
   [5 days, 12 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   Stop moaning about changing your clocks. In my day we had to build a new sundial, twice a year, with only cats for warmth, at 2 am.
   [6 days, 9 hours ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    Figuring out this 'cock stuck in the bottle' thing.
    [1 week, 3 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    All I got left in this world is this half bottle of Tequila. Oh shit. It's gay.
    [1 week, 3 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    Anyone want to see me saw my mother in law in half? You can. I videoed it.
    [1 week, 4 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    I cycle to work, then recycle home.
    [1 week, 4 days ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    I'm not happy.
    You're not happy.
    Why are we still together, officer?
    [1 week, 5 days ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    If it's true you come back as who you hated in life, cat-mouse, then I'm coming back as Glenn Beck. Then I'm going to commit suicide.
    [1 week, 5 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    Reading a book on 'Thunderclap Newman'.
    Actually, it's not such a strange name for a toilet, if you think about it.
    [1 week, 5 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    I'm having a gin. Fuck global warming.
    [1 week, 5 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    I first started drinking to dull the pain.
    Then I started to enjoy it.
    So I stopped drinking.
    [1 week, 5 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    Sitting here and absorbing all the oscar hype it stuck me the problem with twitter is that you can only get one station.
    [1 week, 6 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    Guy next door, who is a builder, has been building away all day and by now I'd expect him to have a huge erection, but no, nothing visible.
    [2 weeks ago, faved by 15] [at twitter]

     
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