The best of capricecrane (caprice crane)

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1. 

   Prop 8 OVERTURNED! Betty White's ass is mine.
   [4 weeks, 1 day ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   CNN: "Wanna keep your man? Let him stray." Thanks, CNN. You left out, "Shut the f*ck up and go make him a chicken pot pie."
   [4 weeks, 1 day ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   President Obama said he doesn't know who Snooki is. Sadly, it's a safe bet she's never heard of him either.
   [1 month ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   A well-lit bathroom mirror can really be an asshole.
   [1 month ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   "Snooki" says she's only read two books. Actually, she answered the question by tapping her hoof twice on the floor.
   [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   In case you're wondering how it went on the flight: http://bit.ly/bhaoKS
   [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   On a plane to Chicago. Guy sitting next to me has made it clear he doesn't want to chat. Man, am I gonna have fun messing with this dude.
   [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   "Kristin Davis Says No More Sex & The City!" Waaaaay ahead of you, Kristin.
   [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   "Kate Gosselin, Sarah Palin Going Camping." I'm not saying there's a reason we have bears in the woods but okay yes I am.
   [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 14] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    Justin Bieber to appear on CSI. Because when you think crime scenes, autopsies and drowned hookers, you think: "Bieber."
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    Headline: "Is Amy Winehouse pregnant?" We'll know for sure when she cuts down to two bottles of vodka and one pack a day.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    "What Does Angelina’s Inner Thigh Tattoo Actually Say?" It says "the writer of that article has serious boundary issues."
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    Bristol & Levi's wedding: One more thing Sarah Palin is boycotting. Like common sense. And English.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    If Oksana was $marter she wouldn't release Mel's rants bit by bit. She'd remix them with a Drake song and drop an album.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    Jennifer Aniston's launching a new perfume. You can wear it until your body decides it'd prefer to smell like Angelina.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    "Ex-Blocker" lets you delete all mentions of your ex on social networking sites. Or... you can just get the f*ck over it.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 10] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    Casual Friday is meaningless when you don't have a regular office job. Pantsless Friday is meaningful no matter what.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 9] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    "Rapper Too Short Arrested." Luckily, the bottom bunk is the "romance bunk."
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    They can't convict you if they can't hear you. That's why I only violently threaten my exes over an iPhone 4.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    "Domino's! Hi, Mr. Gibson! OK, that's a large pepperoni and I can shove it up my stupid fucking ass. Got it! 30 minutes!"
    [1 month, 3 weeks ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

     
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