The best of brienis (Briana)

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1. 

   I'm going to bed without removing my makeup! I've broken a girl rule. Where do I pick up my pants and testosterone?
   [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   Fat kids scare me more than real kids.
   [1 month, 4 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   My idea of unpacking is throwing my suitcase on the bedroom floor and living out of it until it is completely empty.
   [2 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   Crocs. How can something so ugly feel soooo right?
   [2 months, 3 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   I know this is supposed to be the happiest place on earth but it's impossible to be happy around THIS many children.
   [2 months, 3 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   IMPROMPTU ZOO TRIP. Oh wait. That's just a fat tourist in a zebra print shirt. Damn it.
   [2 months, 3 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   If there were a pee olympics, asians would win the gold.
   [2 months, 3 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   I don't know what to be more excited about in the upcoming weeks: the wedding, the honeymoon or the season 3 premiere of Tru Blood.
   [3 months ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   Inhaler. Check! Nasal spray. Check! Eye drops. Check! Nerdy medical problems. CHECK!
   [3 months ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    "I heard Gary Coleman died of an aneurysm, like a stroke, but different." - IRL Friend Johnny
    [3 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    Marriage License Acquired!
    [3 months, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    Failing that final was super easy.
    [3 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    "You're not invited because you're fucking crazy" is a great way to let someone know they're not invited to your wedding. Via text. Or email
    [3 months, 3 weeks ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    Ground beef + onions + cilantro + corn tortillas + ketchup = white people tacos
    [3 months, 4 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    This sexual arousal unit in my human sexuality class would be SO much more interesting if we got to watch videos. Dirty ones.
    [4 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    The stress zits across my face spell out "anxiety" when you connect them all.
    [4 months, 1 week ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    The amount of students who don't get laid on this campus is staggering. And they can all be found in the engineering building.
    [4 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    Hey guy on the train! Electric flute, FTW, right? Haha. Just kidding. I bet you don't get laid.
    [4 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    Someone in this waiting room could have the T virus. Good thing I brought my sawed off shot gun. I'm always prepared for zombie attacks.
    [4 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    The assholes are out in full force today. Big hairy assholes.
    [4 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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