The best of blueyesbrunet (Danielle Molloy)

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  1. Danielle Molloy
    Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Buy a man a Pocket Fisherman and Ron Popeil will eat for a lifetime.
    [16 hours, 25 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  2. Danielle Molloy
    Doggy style is my favorite yoga position
    [17 hours, 58 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  3. Danielle Molloy
    I practice yoga at work by putting my foot in my mouth. I'm really flexible.
    [18 hours, 30 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  4. Danielle Molloy
    Alcohol is the best lube when life decides to screw you over.
    [22 hours, 25 minutes ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]
     
  5. Danielle Molloy
    My nipples are so outgoing they could get hired as a Walmart greeter.
    [1 day, 16 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  6. Danielle Molloy
    I can't wait to see the look of terror in the patients eyes when I walk in the room with bbq sauce all over my white scrubs.
    [1 day, 21 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]
     
  7. Danielle Molloy
    I'm so glad l had piles of paperwork on my desk to soak up the coffee I spilled.
    [2 days, 1 hour ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  8. Danielle Molloy
    I think I feel sick tomorrow.
    [2 days, 14 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]
     
  9. Danielle Molloy
    Aaaand the Oscars just turned into one big circle jerk.
    [2 days, 14 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  10. Danielle Molloy
    Does all this phallic shaped food in my grocery cart make me look single? Oooooh tube steak!
    [2 days, 16 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  11. Danielle Molloy
    I haven't been to church in awhile, the congregation is half as big but twice as self-righteous.
    [3 days, 1 hour ago, faved by 16] [at twitter]
     
  12. Danielle Molloy
    So many people were clapping off beat during the worship service at church the drummer changed the rhythm to match everyone else.
    [3 days, 1 hour ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  13. Danielle Molloy
    Off to church with the family for prayers and supplication. We're all in one Accord.
    [3 days, 2 hours ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]
     
  14. Danielle Molloy
    The guy behind me in the theater will not stop talking. I tried"Shhh"twice. I'm about to give him a look that will kill him dead
    [3 days, 13 hours ago, faved by 16] [at twitter]
     
  15. Danielle Molloy
    @bedheadblonde Don't worry. Someday we will unite our spawn and vanquish the humorless.
    [3 days, 19 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]
     
  16. Danielle Molloy
    @farwyde I would totally show you my tits. Just sayin'
    [3 days, 19 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  17. Danielle Molloy
    Wow it's really sad when I automatically type the short code to Twitter wothout thinking.
    [3 days, 19 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  18. Danielle Molloy
    This Mommy needs a time out!
    [3 days, 20 hours ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]
     
  19. Danielle Molloy
    "Aaaiii" I yelled as I launched my body between my son and a chicken nugget he dropped on the ground.My inner ninja saved the day
    [3 days, 21 hours ago, faved by 12] [at twitter]
     
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