The best of baileygenine (Bailey)

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1. 

   @luckyshirt 2 months and 4 days is my guess for how long you've been waiting to post that.
   [15 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   P.S. Don't read too far into that letter, I wrote a similar one to a cinnamon roll about 4 minutes ago.
   [15 hours, 28 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   Dear Judgmental Couple Standing Next To Obnoxious Woman On Cell Phone,
   
   I love you.
   
   Love, Bailey.
   [15 hours, 30 minutes ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   @samhey and pandas.
   [15 hours, 56 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   @magnetbox "could someone tell the guy tailgating me to quit texting on his iPhone?"
   [19 hours, 12 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   @lonelysandwich now you take your clothes off and put them on Jim. Or take his clothes off? I'm pretty sure someone ends up naked.
   [19 hours, 51 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   So typical that Jason Permenter didn't remind me that I was out of coffee.
   [21 hours, 26 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   Honestly lady, I just impressed *myself* with my language, but the answer to your question is, no, I'm not expecting.
   [1 day, 15 hours ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   I'm sick, so if you need me I'll be over here complaining about everything.
   [2 days, 8 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    @Remiel I read that to the tune of The Humpty Dance.
    [2 days, 15 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    I wouldn't say I'm a shitty roommate, I'm just teaching the people I live with a lesson on their crappy people judging skills.
    [2 days, 15 hours ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    I'm giving up my dream of being a cat lady. Instead I'm investing my time in becoming a catfish lady.
    [2 days, 17 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    Butterfly, just fucking land so I can stare at you already.
    [2 days, 17 hours ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    Today I became the "goes to the museum alone" guy. Anyway, I'll be reading the dictionary later if you need me.
    [2 days, 17 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    So, who wants seafood?
    [2 days, 18 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    I'm at the aquarium by myself, so naturally I'm going to meet my future husband or everything I've learned in movies is a lie.
    [2 days, 18 hours ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    Hanging out with penguins, why what's up?
    [2 days, 19 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    ♫ The best part of waking up, is puking blood into a cup. ♫
    [2 days, 22 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    Okay, sirens. I get it. The entire neighborhood is having a heart attack while it burns down, sure, but some of us are trying to sleep.
    [3 days, 1 hour ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    I'm going to the kitchen, does anyone want anything?
    [3 days, 12 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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