The best of badbanana (Tim Siedell)

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1. 

   The latest jobs report is so bad, it's being used as the script for Marmaduke 2.
   [3 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   The moral of the story is put a locked door on the entrance to Mount Doom.
   [4 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   Ahmadinejad says Iran is building a three-stage rocket. So there's a real good chance Nathan Lane is involved.
   [4 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   Seventy-eight million dollars? Why didn't anyone ever tell me to become a top NFL draft pick?
   [4 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   I keep getting Lily Allen and Katy Perry mixed up. Also Justin Bieber and George Stephanopoulos.
   [4 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   Congratulations to steroids on yet another home run record!
   [4 weeks, 1 day ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   The roof collapsed at our local community theater. Damn fiddlers.
   [4 weeks, 1 day ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   Morning has broken me.
   [4 weeks, 1 day ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   A looming second recession? Glad I hedged my journalism major with a minor in warlord science.
   [1 month ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    Chill out, Gatorade. I think we have enough hydration options now.
    [1 month ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    Officials went to check on Tokyo's oldest man, only to find a corpse that had been decaying for 32 years. So congrats second oldest man!
    [1 month ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    Good grief. Even Brett Favre's announcement got intercepted.
    [1 month ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    My smart phone is so stupid I bet it'll let me buy tickets to see "Charlie St. Cloud."
    [1 month ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    Maybe Congress could save a little money by only investigating alleged instances of ethical behavior.
    [1 month ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    I've never really figured out what I'm supposed to do between Fast and Furious movies.
    [1 month ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    Way to be a cliche, Colorado. http://twitpic.com/2ak9ab
    [1 month ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    Tried to kill two birds with one stone, but I'm gonna have to call this Neti Pot Roast a failure.
    [1 month ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    It's like Air Force One. No bed can officially be called a King bed unless Larry King is on it.
    [1 month ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    "Put your hands in the air like you just don't care" is offensive to those of us in the apathy community. But whatever.
    [1 month ago, faved by 29] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    If I'm going to be this awake at 2:30 in the morning, I might as well go guard a factory or something.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 15] [at twitter]

     
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