The best of badbanana (Tim Siedell)

Not finding your favourites quickly enough? If you follow @twitfave on twitter, we'll prioritise you. This means we'll see your favourites much faster!

• oldest
• newest
• best
• subscribe (RSS)

1. 

   I'm glad when a concert advertises limited seating because parking is a real pain at those unlimited seating venues.
   [3 hours, 42 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
2. 

   Guys, check this out. Look at a package of Keebler cookies. See those elves? Now look closer. Yup. Those photos are faked.
   [16 hours, 42 minutes ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]

    
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
3. 

   Focus groups are still the best way to discover what people who don't value their time value.
   [23 hours, 14 minutes ago, faved by 20] [at twitter]

    
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
4. 

   Preparing for St. Patrick's Day by building up my tolerance for beard puke. So far, still squeamish.
   [1 day, 3 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
5. 

   The oldest living American has died at the age of 114. Pretty sure that opening number at the Oscars was the final straw.
   [1 day, 15 hours ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

    
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
6. 

   Pro Tip: Ask to speak to Monday's manager. I just complained and got a $10 gift card to Staples. (Score!)
   [1 day, 20 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
7. 

   Not funny, people. I lost both my parents to a Hot Tub Time Machine.
   [2 days ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

    
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
8. 

   This dance montage is part of Obama's job program. All out of work factory workers.
   [2 days, 15 hours ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

    
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
9. 

   Glad Christophe Waltz won. Best depiction of a sadistic Nazi since Johnny Depp in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
   [2 days, 16 hours ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]

    
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
   • 
10. 

    I hope the Academy gives an award to Steve Martin for not making a Cheaper by the Dozen movie last year.
    [2 days, 17 hours ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
11. 

    Wonder what Adam Sandler is doing tonight.
    [2 days, 17 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
    • 
12. 

    Who hosted things before Ryan Seacrest was manufactured?
    [2 days, 18 hours ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
13. 

    I had planned to teach my robot right and wrong, but so far I'm pretty impressed with its choice of victims.
    [3 days, 15 hours ago, faved by 79] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
14. 

    Just saw Alice in Wonderland. Unrealistic!
    [3 days, 20 hours ago, faved by 46] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
15. 

    I'm a man who enjoys the simple pleasure of a quiet morning, a cup of coffee, and the company of Millard Filmore's skull.
    [4 days, 2 hours ago, faved by 18] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
16. 

    Tim Burton has pretty much taken everything from my childhood and made it creepy. Wonder what he'll do to the Big Wheel.
    [4 days, 16 hours ago, faved by 87] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
17. 

    I've pretty much already forgotten most of those Winter Olympics sports ever existed.
    [4 days, 16 hours ago, faved by 27] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
18. 

    I've been feeling better about myself ever since I started calling the fetal position the victory position.
    [4 days, 22 hours ago, faved by 129] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
19. 

    Teach a man to be Laurence Fishburne and he'll make a little money posing for photos with Matrix fans on Hollywood Blvd.
    [5 days ago, faved by 35] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
20. 

    It was a Peter Cetera morning. Had to pay him $5 to wake up and get out of my car.
    [5 days, 2 hours ago, faved by 25] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    • 
    •