The best of badbanana (Tim Siedell)

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1. 

   Not sure what bums me out more. That @jetlabels uses my tweets as his own or that, after doing so, he only has 12 followers.
   [11 hours, 19 minutes ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   Thursday. Or Thorsday. Named after the god Thor. Who carried a hammer. So, yes, I'm hammered. Apology accepted, Officer.
   [12 hours, 30 minutes ago, faved by 10] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   What doesn't kill you makes you slower. -Ancient Zombie Wisdom
   [22 hours, 9 minutes ago, faved by 9] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   I love St. Patrick's Day! I must be on my 40th potato.
   [1 day, 14 hours ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   But Sandra Bullock and Jesse James looked so happy in that two second clip on the Oscars.
   [1 day, 16 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   Leprechauns are freaky, but Chakakhanchauns are horrifying. If you hear the opening of "I Feel For You" in the woods, run.
   [1 day, 22 hours ago, faved by 13] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   Eating a traditional Irish breakfast of Lucky Charms, green eggs and ham, and a bar of Irish Spring soap.
   [2 days, 2 hours ago, faved by 14] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   An airplane killed a jogger while making an emergency landing on a South Carolina beach. Which is why I don't jog.
   [2 days, 18 hours ago, faved by 14] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   Flavor Flav turns 51 today. He'll spend a quiet day at home, still resting up after a weekend of moving clocks forward.
   [2 days, 21 hours ago, faved by 32] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    Tiger's fans better hurry and make hotel reservations for the Masters before Tiger's mistresses take all the rooms.
    [2 days, 22 hours ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    Old Fashioned Root Beer®. Forcibly Tested On Old People.
    [3 days, 11 hours ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    The Royals website features a countdown to opening day as well as a countdown to playoff elimination.
    [3 days, 17 hours ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    I bet the hardest part of being a sushi chef is cutting the heads off mermaids.
    [3 days, 21 hours ago, faved by 15] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    Dirty deeds done at a reasonable price with a quantity discount. That seems like a more sustainable business model.
    [4 days, 19 hours ago, faved by 18] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    Idea: Cookie Crisp malt liquor breakfast drink.
    [4 days, 20 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    The decision to not set back my clocks last fall is looking pretty good right now.
    [5 days, 13 hours ago, faved by 14] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    Somebody should remake Cop Out, except as a comedy.
    [5 days, 19 hours ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    I may be 22 years late on this, but Fright Night 2 sucks.
    [6 days, 9 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    DARE TO DREAM. Lou's ex-wife did and now she's married to a very successful businessman. #cruellyspecificofficeposter
    [6 days, 14 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    There is no U in Office Party. Sorry, Tony. #cruellyspecificofficeposter
    [6 days, 15 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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