The best of TheBosha (Verified Account)

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1. 

   Judging by my flooded (by 1 person) DMs tonight, Twitter's a lot of people who pretend to be insane and at least one who's sincere about it.
   [1 day, 10 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   Blather, rinse, repeat.
   [1 day, 12 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   Never send a boy to do a man's job. Unless that job is cutting the grass. Then by all means, send the boy.
   [1 day, 15 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   I'd call this morning's client meeting a train wreck, but I have too much respect for train wrecks.
   [1 day, 21 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   My curse is to not live life but observe it. At a distance. In the rain. Holding a small bag of nonsense that none will claim when I'm gone.
   [2 days, 9 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   Now that I think about about it, I have the same sense of humor as a cat. So yes, be afraid.
   [3 days, 8 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   There is a critical distinction between "You amuse me" and "You're funny."
   [3 days, 8 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   The most effective childproofing devices are sold at the condom display.
   [3 days, 9 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   Idea: Russian Chatroulette. (Darwin would star this).
   [3 days, 10 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    In towns large and small across the world, you'll note that the guys with the fastest cars are the ones who never seem to get anywhere.
    [3 days, 10 hours ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    Stealing my material off Leno. As usually.
    [3 days, 10 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    With all the fruity-sweetie college girl cocktails I've seen I'm waiting for someone to rim a martini glass with Pop Rocks. You're welcome.
    [3 days, 15 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    Gotta' love that new iPhone commercial where they seem to be claiming you can actually make calls with it.
    [3 days, 18 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    My sons have left for home. A 3-hour drive. 17 at the wheel. Can anybody remind me how to work these rosary beads?
    [4 days, 19 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    That wasn't even supposed to rhyme. Is there such a thing as "Irish poisoning?"
    [4 days, 19 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    I'm well aware that to be the absentee parent is to have the far easier role, but for me at least, it's hard in ways that rend the soul.
    [4 days, 19 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    Nobody *really* likes a chick who puts out for gas and hotel money, yet nobody likes to travel alone.
    [5 days, 14 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    Rocking the WiFi on a powerfully tricked-out laptop because, somehow, my kids have way cooler stuff than I do.
    [5 days, 16 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    My 17 year-old just described a downtown passerby as a "sketchy trench coat Jesus." Paternity test canceled.
    [5 days, 16 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    Parade Day brings all my agoraphobia to the yard.
    [5 days, 18 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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