The best of TheBosha (Verified Account)

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1. 

   @ChattyBedhead Ahhh! So yet another plagiarist has been exposed by our resident pugilist. OFF with the empty, thieving head of @cockiness!
   [9 hours, 37 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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   All of you are going to have to try harder or I'll go save creative but misunderstood kids in some other ghetto school.
   [22 hours, 33 minutes ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   You don't have to be an asshole to have an iPhone, but every asshole has one.
   [1 day, 11 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   Do you have a plan? What's that like?
   [2 days, 1 hour ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   Let's postpone now until a little later.
   [2 days, 1 hour ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   They waltz in Hell to the lies we tell.
   [2 days, 4 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   She donned a tiny skirt & stilettos, then looked disappointed when we got there. Guess "I'll take you to 5 Guys" has more than one meaning.
   [2 days, 5 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   I've been celibate so long that mine only qualify as mothballs.
   [3 days, 7 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   Recently discovered that my death is on someone else's bucket list. Not sure whether to feel mortified or honored.
   [4 days, 10 hours ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    Of my many, many sins, working on the sabbath day is my least favorite.
    [4 days, 11 hours ago, faved by 15] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    People are only as dumb as they think they are. An insidious closed loop that ends in Snuggies, Republicans and unplanned pregnancy.
    [4 days, 20 hours ago, faved by 17] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    The difference between irony and sarcasm is correct spelling and proper punctuation. Also, doing *this* with one eyebrow.
    [4 days, 20 hours ago, faved by 26] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    Justice will be served. But by then you'll already be full.
    [4 days, 21 hours ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    Actually, @TheUnsayable @MrBigFists, my idea of auto-erotic asphyxiation is masturbating while fantasizing I'm strangling Bank of America.
    [4 days, 21 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    If you do nothing else in your life, move. Even in places like New York and Paris, townies are the worst.
    [4 days, 21 hours ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    My inner 2 year-old is begging for a punch in the screamy little puss.
    [4 days, 21 hours ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    The last laugh *is* the tree falling in the forest.
    [4 days, 22 hours ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    Never calculate your probable longevity based on age alone unless you never drive, never use a bathtub & never reply to online classifieds.
    [4 days, 22 hours ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    Trust me, Depression isn't nearly as much fun as the TV commercials make it sound.
    [4 days, 22 hours ago, faved by 19] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    The northern sky is so ablaze with stars tonight it looks almost as fake as a strip club boob job.
    [4 days, 23 hours ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]

     
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