The best of SusAnimated (Susanne)

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  1. Susanne
    Warning- After a few Irish coffees I Walk Like An Egyptian.
    [1 day, 21 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  2. Susanne
    I asked St. Patrick for a pot of gold and woke to find my toilet handle broken. I should have been more specific.
    [2 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  3. Susanne
    I've been on my feet all day and now my back hurts. I was on my back all yesterday but did my feet hurt? Noooo.
    [3 days, 13 hours ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]
     
  4. Susanne
    My breasts are not growing antennae it's just escaped underwire. Thanks for noticing.
    [1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  5. Susanne
    Son, when I asked for your feedback I didn't expect your projectile vomit. That's not what 'feedback' means.
    [1 week, 1 day ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  6. Susanne
    I'd call you uncultured but judging by the smell you are currently battling a yeast infection.
    [1 week, 1 day ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  7. Susanne
    Jesus appears on burnt toast and Cheetos. I'm on a roll.
    [1 week, 1 day ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  8. Susanne
    My sense of entitlement says high paid executive but my worthless high school diploma screams Mcjob.
    [1 week, 1 day ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  9. Susanne
    I don't have a spirit animal anymore because it smelled like chicken....It tasted like chicken too.
    [1 week, 2 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  10. Susanne
    I didn't call you ugly. I said you are *better looking* than Gollum.
    [1 week, 2 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  11. Susanne
    What this evening needs is more ball gag.
    [1 week, 2 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  12. Susanne
    It's not a case of sour grapes. It's fermented grapes. The way God intended.
    [1 week, 2 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  13. Susanne
    You know that guy with over half a million followers and one friend? When does he pass out the Kool Aid?
    [1 week, 2 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]
     
  14. Susanne
    I don't get the controversy over gay marriage. What better way to kill homo sex than to let gays marry?
    [1 week, 5 days ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]
     
  15. Susanne
    I feel I can relate to everyone because daddy was a manwhore so I'm probably related to everyone.
    [1 week, 5 days ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]
     
  16. Susanne
    Taco night. I had three. I have one left. My burning question is Who wants my taco?
    [1 week, 5 days ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]
     
  17. Susanne
    I've only got 5 hours to complete my 30 minute workout before I have to be somewhere. I hate feeling rushed!
    [1 week, 5 days ago, faved by 9] [at twitter]
     
  18. Susanne
    I'm stuck with too many kids and not enough tranquilizer darts.
    [1 week, 5 days ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]
     
  19. Susanne
    I need to get in my bed but the man in it is snoring and I can't find the duct tape.
    [1 week, 6 days ago, faved by 6] [at twitter]
     
  20. Susanne
    If anyone asks me for a stool sample I better be getting some cash for it. No pay pay? Then no poo poo for you.
    [1 week, 6 days ago, faved by 5] [at twitter]
     
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