The best of Moltz

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1. 

   NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDS!
   [4 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   You say there was no cover-up? Then why did no one on the Warren Commission ask the simple question “What the fuck is a ‘Book Depository’?”
   [4 weeks, 1 day ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   "Generic Viagra"? Fuck you, email spam. If my boner ever loses its spring I assure you it will get nothing but name-brand attention.
   [4 weeks, 1 day ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   Jeez, you screw one goat and all of a sudden you're getting equated with Facebook users.
   [1 month ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   Baby, that shit is *nasty*! You gotta curate your content before I'm gonna get with that, girl! Yeah. Mmm-hmm. Show me how you curate that.
   [1 month ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL. EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU. SOB.
   [1 month ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   Man. Sure was a scorcher.
   [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   I thought I knew what it was to be alive. Then I saw @Mike_FTW fuck with an overly serious docent at the Museum of Flight.
   [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   Dammit, Tumblr, if you can't get your act together I will just take my found pictures of hot Comic-Con cosplayers elsewhere! GOOD DAY!
   [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    I'm just going to throw this out there for next year's Comic-Con: zombie C-3PO. Make it happen, people.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    I forget, is it one or two drinks every time @gruber takes someone's site down? Anyway, totally drunk.
    [1 month, 1 week ago, faved by 4] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    When trying to scroll in a smaller area within a web page on an iOS device, remember to use two fingers. As you would on a lady.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    Decided to skip a meeting so I could have time to go to the bathroom. It's this kind of big thinking that makes me such a valuable employee.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    It's nice my 6-year-old is outside mowing the lawn, but would it have killed him to have freshened my drink before he went out there?
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    I just hearted a cat picture on Tumblr.
    
    OH GOD I'M PART OF THE PROBLEM.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    Just got voted the most attractive person on the #11 bus again. I love taking the bus!
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    If I don't get six hours of sleep and two hours of lying in bed worrying every night I'm just a wreck the whole next day.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    I'm on a plane and the Apple press event starts as we descend. I can't believe I have to wait 30 min. to find out who killed the reception.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    At a light, I looked over and saw a lady writing a check on top of her steering wheel while her car was still rolling forward. OLD SCHOOL.
    [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    @jasonpermenter I was thinking something similar today as we drove by a BP to fill the car up at an Exxon. Fill it up with irony, that is.
    [1 month, 3 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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