The best of JohnnyChimpo (John F. Chimpo)

Not finding your favourites quickly enough? If you follow @twitfave on twitter, we'll prioritise you. This means we'll see your favourites much faster!

• oldest
• newest
• best
• subscribe (RSS)

1. 

   I jerked off into my brothers spare change bucket this morning.#confessiontweet
   [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
2. 

   I just drank a watermelon margarita. Let the gay jokes fly.
   [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
   • 
   • 
3. 

   Nobody tell my parole officer, but I've just crossed state lines.
   [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
4. 

   Sunday morning pickled edition (cock & balls) - http://twitpic.com/24esoy
   [1 month, 4 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
5. 

   4 servings per container, my fat ass! I offed this in 15 minutes. http://twitpic.com/246m7e
   [1 month, 4 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
6. 

   Havin a 6 inch dong.
   
   
   ...needless to say, fully erect.
   
   #whiteboywednesday
   [2 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
7. 

   Uncle Sam just drunk texted me, he says he pissed on the British Embassy steps and used our Constitution as a bitch wipe.
   [2 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
8. 

   Hey guys - I'm rollerblading down the promenade in a banana hammock while listenin to Nickelback on my boombox! GOD I LOVE THIS COUNTRY!
   [2 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
9. 

   Immaculately Stoned
   [2 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
   • 
10. 

    I'm takin my shoes off now, so that when I fall asleep on the couch again tonight, my feet won't have to be in them for sixty straight hours
    [2 months, 1 week ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
11. 

    Anybody else get that not so fresh feeling, so you grab an old dirty sock off of the floor and give yourself a good genital flossing?
    [2 months, 1 week ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
12. 

    Why is
    [2 months, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
    • 
13. 

    For those about to rock, I envy you.
    [2 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
    • 
14. 

    You know how I know your gay...
    
    cuz you got all bitchy & weird when I told ya I was gonna tongue punch your mom in her fart box.
    [2 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
    • 
15. 

    My favorite part of camping... gettin home & takin a great big shit in my American Standard® Right Height™ toilet & wiping with Cottonelle®.
    [2 months, 3 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
    • 
16. 

    My favorite part of camping... takin a great big shit in the wide open space of nature & wiping with a fern.
    [2 months, 3 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
    • 
17. 

    ... and the gingers will rise up and take over the earth.
    [3 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
    • 
18. 

    These high heels definitely make my calves look more toned.
    [3 months ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
    • 
19. 

    My MULTI-million dollar idea: Sour Cream in a Tube™.
    
    Now someone get on it!
    [3 months, 1 week ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

     
    • 
    • 
20. 

    I'm off to visit WalMart's redneck cousin - The Sportsman's Warehouse®
    [3 months, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
    •