The best of CcSteff (Stephanie)

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1. 

   I quit my job today so that I can focus on my rap career. Also, to make a buddy cop movie with my cat.
   [1 day, 19 hours ago, faved by 10] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   The phrase "sports bra chafing" just doesn't convey how sexy I look right now.
   [2 days, 5 hours ago, faved by 9] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   "Miss Stephanie, ma'am, would you like some Gatorade?" And that's the story of how I adopted the cutest little boy in Little Rock.
   [4 days ago, faved by 8] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   Watching people use the public computer in the hotel lobby. It's like they don't even realize they're using the internet all wrong.
   [5 days, 4 hours ago, faved by 40] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   @hogue365 I'm in town for the marathon. You running?
   [5 days, 20 hours ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   My flight to Arkansas is overbooked. That doesn't even make any sense.
   [5 days, 22 hours ago, faved by 54] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   @apelad Congratulations!!
   [1 week, 1 day ago, faved by 3] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   Visitors always think our place is so cool, with its lack of walls and doors, until they have to take a dump.
   [1 week, 4 days ago, faved by 32] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   Uh, yeah, buddy. The whole thing about white male privilege is that *you* would never even notice it.
   [1 week, 5 days ago, faved by 30] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    "Right or wrong" is code for "I know I'm wrong but I'm going to say it anyway."
    [2 weeks, 1 day ago, faved by 25] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    Nervous giggling in meetings has increased 400% since we, the manufacturer of Prep-H, were acquired by the manufacturer of Viagra.
    [2 weeks, 2 days ago, faved by 49] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    No, Jim, it was not "the cutest mauling ever." Kitty attacked my face.
    [2 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 28] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    Now that we have a cat, I find myself playing "Cat Hair or Pube?" There is no way to win this game.
    [3 weeks, 5 days ago, faved by 34] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    You Will Know Me By The Trail of Snot Rockets
    [3 weeks, 5 days ago, faved by 19] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    My avoidance strategies need work. I just microwaved my salad so I wouldn't have to leave the break room.
    [3 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 31] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    @nevenmrgan Shhh I'm trying to concentrate.
    [3 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    The key to surviving stop and go traffic with your bumper intact is to position yourself in front of a driver who doesn't have a smart phone
    [3 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 21] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    I packed up my desk and took my coffee mug home in a fit of rage last night. Does this syrofoam cup make me look like I want to quit my job?
    [3 weeks, 6 days ago, faved by 10] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    @MooeyTie He would be delighted to accept outside submissions. I, however, will take them as a sign of aggression.
    [4 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    Jim doesn't think I appreciate his efforts in this relationship, so he's starting a blog called Impulsive Things I've Resisted Doing Today.
    [4 weeks ago, faved by 15] [at twitter]

     
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