The best of CcSteff (Stephanie)

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1. 

   "I think I need to go lay down on the toilet."
   
   Jim both ate *and* drank too much for dinner.
   [4 weeks ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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2. 

   Maternity clothes make me wonder why I ever wore pants that didn't have an elastic waist. Seems dumb.
   [1 month ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

    
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3. 

   The second thing Jim did with our new kitchen scale was weigh the cat. The first thing was try to weigh my tits.
   [1 month ago, faved by 9] [at twitter]

    
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4. 

   7/27/04: We moved into our first place together, with an exit strategy in case we broke up.
   
   7/27/10: We're still keeping our options open.
   [1 month ago, faved by 2] [at twitter]

    
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5. 

   "But how will I know whether to start saving for college or finding a husband?"
   
   Jim is upset I won't let him find out the sex of the baby.
   [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 20] [at twitter]

    
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6. 

   It was a pleasure to meet @hugel at the movies tonight, even if Jim was picking popcorn out of his beard when we ran into him.
   [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

    
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7. 

   Jim says he's 90% sure he still finds me attractive. And I'm 90% sure it's his baby.
   [1 month, 2 weeks ago, faved by 17] [at twitter]

    
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8. 

   We stayed up late into the night, talking about the horrible things we'll do to each other when we get divorced. Keeping the romance alive.
   [1 month, 3 weeks ago, faved by 10] [at twitter]

    
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9. 

   The "I love Tijuana" shirt is redundant, sir. I can see your regrettable tattoos.
   [1 month, 3 weeks ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

    
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10. 

    It's almost as if all my friends from back home in Cleveland have completely forgotten that we still have Dennis Kucinich.
    [1 month, 3 weeks ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

     
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11. 

    Declaring independence from the tyranny of my bra, local decency laws.
    [2 months ago, faved by 10] [at twitter]

     
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12. 

    Road trip update: I would've asked Jim to take over driving an hour ago, but didn't want to lose all the resentment from watching him sleep.
    [2 months ago, faved by 7] [at twitter]

     
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13. 

    The thing about running while pregnant is peeing every half-mile.
    
    The other thing is hey, tubby, you just got passed by a pregnant lady.
    [2 months ago, faved by 18] [at twitter]

     
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14. 

    Nothing has made me more pro-choice than being pregnant.
    [2 months, 1 week ago, faved by 23] [at twitter]

     
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15. 

    Oh, just hiding under the desk. Like you do when you forget the window washing is scheduled for today. And you're naked.
    [2 months, 1 week ago, faved by 12] [at twitter]

     
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16. 

    @ttseco Congratulations!
    [2 months, 1 week ago, faved by 1] [at twitter]

     
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17. 

    Thanks, guys! Killface von Pratticek is due 10/23. (Still working on names.)
    [2 months, 1 week ago, faved by 13] [at twitter]

     
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18. 

    The book refers to pregnancy cravings as "all-night pickle fests." Jim points out that's what got me into this situation in the first place.
    [2 months, 1 week ago, faved by 44] [at twitter]

     
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19. 

    Get your head back in the car and stop yelling "Cookie Puss!" at the Carvel delivery truck, Dr. Kubicek.
    [2 months, 3 weeks ago, faved by 9] [at twitter]

     
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20. 

    The dick-shaped hole in the sour cream? Jim was chopping jalapenos.
    [2 months, 3 weeks ago, faved by 13] [at twitter]

     
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